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I’ve been seeing a guy for a little while, and we recently slept together where he had trouble maintaining an erection. He told me that it’s related to having gone a long time without sex and that it’s a psychological issue. To some extent I can accept that explanation, but another part of me feels very insecure and wonders whether it’s actually about my appearance, my body, or something else in me that’s causing a lack of attraction. He has told me that it’s not me and that the issue is on his side. For context, we’re both in our early 30s, healthy, and neither of us is overweight.

For men who have experienced this: when you struggled with erections, was it ever because you weren’t attracted to the woman, or could it happen even when you found her very attractive? Can a man be very sexually attracted to a woman and still struggle to get or maintain an erection?